Obviously I have nothing better to do than copy WS's blog survey...

Sorry. This is all I got. Oh, and a photo post, coming sooooon.

XO.

1. Name someone who made you smile today?

Jennifer Shull

2. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?

Laying on the bottom bunk, evaluating my life. 

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?

Reading Christian Science Testimonies out of the CSJournal to the woman I take care of on the weekends. 

4. What did you do last night?

Moved my shit out of the devil's house. 

5. What’s your mom’s name?

Frances Elizabeth. But you can call her Chi. And Chi she is. 

6. Three words to explain why you last threw up.

Hella Caffeine Withdrawals

7. What color is your hairbrush?

Comb colored. 

8. What was the last thing you bought?

Cab ride to work. 

11. Where do you keep your money?

In my debit card for easy spending. Also, a wee tokidoki bag that makes me happy every time I look at it. 

12. What was the weather like today?

Very Oregon-style. 

13. Where did your last hug take place?

75th and Lex. Which is one block and one avenue from 76th and 3rd, lol. 

14. What are you excited about?

Moving. Never having to see Heidi again. Not hating my summer. Never having to see Heidi again. Finding my own place in NYC to live. Never having to see Heidi again. Going back to Seattle in September. Never having to see Heidi again. Getting back to myself. 

15. Ever smoked a cigarette?

Tons. 

16.Closest thing to you thats green?

All my dolla dolla billz that be livin in my pock-o, yo. 

17.Last person you spoke to?

John Kosse. He just called. 

18. Are you very random?

Sometimes. Banana. Dandelion. 

19. Do you want to get your hair cut?

I just did. 

20. Are you over the age of 25?

Hella.

21. Do you talk a lot?

Yes. 

22. Do you watch The O.C.?

I have. Because of Farran. 

23. Does your screen name have an “x” in it?

HELL NO. 

24. Do you know anyone named Kelsey?

Through Tim-Tam. 

25. Do you make up your own words?

No, and I hate it when people do. SARAH JAMA GREEN. 

26. Are you ticklish?

Not really. 

27. Are you a jealous person?

Yes. 

28. Are you hungry right now?

No. I still want to eat the Tomato Soup in the cupboard though. 

29. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter “V”.

Vaughn. Brenda Vaughn.

30. Who’s the last person to call you?

John Kosse

32. Do you chew on your straws?

I don't usually, but I JUST DID this yesterday, and I have to say, I totally get why people do that. 

33.Do you have curly hair?

No. Limp waves AT BEST. 

34.What is the next show you’re going to watch?

Ima catch the fuck up on my U.S. of Tara before I start getting any fancy ideas about any other new shows. Then maybe the Borgias. I hope it's not lame. 

35.Where did you go today?

Oh let's see... Justine's house, Shully's hotel, The Stumble Inn, Beth Israel Temple (outside, not in), a nail salon (where they fucked my shit up), Sarah's house, and work. 

37. What is something you say a lot?

Fuck. Totally. I mean... And d-d-d-d-damn. 

40. Do you have to work tomorrow?

Yes. I work every day. 

42. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to…

Ellexis and Jeremiyah.

43. What should you be doing right now?

Sleeping. 

I guess question 44 if a free one.

Ok.. and 41 is missing too.

45. Are you a heavy sleeper?

Hell yes I am. 

46. What are you listening to?

The AC in Darren's room through a baby monitor. 

47. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past two weeks?

Eh... I don't know. I don't really watch movies. I just tried to watch 'They Live" but fell asleep. 

48. Is there anyone you hate right now?

Yes. 

49. When was the last time you did the dishes?

This morning. 

50. Did you cry today?

Yes, actually. 

51. Do you like chinese food?

I prefer the other asian varieties. Thai, Korean, Japanese. 

52. How big is your bed?

I don't have a bed. I sleep on the bottom bunk in my friend's kids room. 

53. Is your room clean?

I don't have a room....

54. Laptop or Desktop computer?

Laptop

55. Favorite comedian?

Louis CK, Daniel Tosh

57. Does anyone like you?

Oh yes. Tens of people.

58. Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?

Uh. This is an uncomfortable question for me. 

59. Sleep with or without clothes on?

With. I dont have my own space yet.

60. Who sleeps with you every night?

My Mac, Steve

61. Do long distance relationships work?

Depends, I think. 

62. How many times have you been pulled over by the police?

twice. 

63. Pancakes or French Toast?

French Toast

64. Do you like coffee?

Oh yes. 

65. How do you like your eggs?

Eggy. 

66. Do you believe in astrology?

I don't know. It's cool to think about. 

67. Last person on your missed call list?

John Kosse. 

68. What was the last text message you received?

Ramon: "Oh lol"

69. McDonalds or Burger King?

Ew. But honestly, McDonalds. Shame. 

71. Last thing you ate?

Cream of Wheat

73. what are you hearing right now?

Darren talking about her past. 

74. Pick a lyric?

"from Beijing to Saigon"

75. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich?

Raspberry

76. Can you play pool?

Yes. 

78. Favorite ice cream?

Rocky Road

79. Do you like maps?

Sure, on my phone...

80. Tell me a random fact:

In Oregon, it's illegal to thumb wrestle while driving. 

82. Ever attend a theme party?

Yes.  Did NOT get the memo about dressing up, so hella hella didn't. Met a sweet ass chick anyway. 

83. Ever do a keg stand?

No

84. Craziest place you’ve slept after a night of drinking?

Oh gosh. I always make it to my bed, usually. I think I once spent the night on a playground...

85. What is your favorite season?

Spring and Fall

86. What is the first music video you ever saw?

The first one I remember obsessing over was Michael Jackson's "You are not alone" How embarrassing. 

90. What is your favorite place to hangout?

Bed 

93. Last time you laughed at something stupid?

Every day occurrence

94. What time did you wake up this morning?

1:30, 2, 2:30, 3:30, 4:30, 5:30, 6, 6:30. FML. 

95. Wake up next to anyone?

No

96. Best thing about winter?

The clothes and the snow

97. pink,green and black?

...as colors for a full body unitard? I'm in. 

99. What month is your birthday in?

october

100. What are you doing this weekend?

Working like a mofo. 

Still

Ho-hum, what do you know?

Well, I know that I haven't been writing ANYTHING lately. I think that part of that is because I have been sort of living in a state of panic, and that kind of drains a girl. 

I moved to NY with the intent to change my life. To not be a passenger, but to take the wheel and fucking LIVE this life. I had a plan. That plan did not work out. This is something I'm okay with, but I have had QUITE a time getting my shit together and still moving toward my end goal of going to school and getting my Master's in Social Work. 

Still. I am moving forward, toward that goal and others, and it's just been hard. 

30 Day Challenge, cont.

Day 3: Your Views On Drugs and Alcohol
Yes, yes. Once again, it's been awhile. I will do a "what I'm doing" post in a few. I have some rad pics to post and such, just be patient with me. Be patient with me for the both of us, because sometimes I get so frustrated with myself I want to flick myself in the nose.

Anyhow.

My view on drugs and alcohol are this:

Some people are wired to be able to indulge in whatever and not have any spillover effects where the rest of their lives go off track.

Some people aren't.

If you can truly get high, get drunk, be wasted and not hurt anyone including yourself, then fuck yes. Go for it. I know it's an awesome feeling. For awhile.

I may have met... 3 people like that.

I am not one of the "lucky" few that can partake and not feel like an absolute asshole the next two days to three weeks. Things affect me. Drugs and alcohol affect me deeply. They even affect how OTHER things affect me.

So I don't do them. Anymore. But please believe, there was a day that I was right there, looking in the mirror, making the decision to abandon my goal to be my best self and get wasted.

I am dyslexic from Xstacy.
I still have a pull in my gut and my mouth waters whenever I think about how it feels to smoke crystal meth.
I involuntarily chew my bottom lip when I remember my acid trips that involved animal crackers and punching someone in the crotch and almost getting the shit kicked out of me.
I can get so drunk that I lose the ability to focus on the face in front of me, and instead stare to the right of whoever I am speaking to like their head has found prime real estate not at the end of their neck, but balancing on their shoulder.

When I was 20 I tried crack and came perilously close to making the active decision to give everything else up in my life to be able to continue on that path. After 1 time. Once. I actually looked at the crack pipe in my hand, with the brass brillo pad spilling out the top with the melted crack still smoking, the numbness that is so beautiful it making me forget to speak spreading from my lips to the rest of my face in a wave that was the most gentle tsumani ever concepted, and thought, "Yeah. I can totally do this. And just... this. Absolutely."
I was in the bathroom of a retired prostitute named Kitten, sitting on the edge of her bathtub, marveling at the baby pink and mint green color scheme war that was taking place on the walls and floor. I was with a boyfriend of mine who was a total pile. As was I, actually, at the time.

Lucky for me, that shit only lasts about 5 minutes. I mean, I totally did it again. But another five minutes later, there was such a letdown. With the words "retired prostitute" echoing in my head, I decided to leave, and walked out the front door.

It's one of my favorite decisions I have ever made. It's right up there with moving to New York and repairing my friendship with Whitney.

If you are not like me, I envy you. But only a little. Because I am totally awesome.

Also of note is the way I feel about how illegal substances are procured, the shit that goes into them, and the people that are hurt along the way of obtaining certain drugs. Now I'm obviously not talking about home-grown pot, which my only beef there is the lack of motivation for anything but eating, drinking, and smoking more pot it can gift to people. I mean the stuff that is shipped here from other countries, the people, primarily young girls who are used as mules, the people who are corrupted and bought along the way. Those things I am not okay with, but realize the eventuality of. It makes me sad.

Take care,

Abs